Old Lady In The Street Isn't Crazy, Just Locked Out

This wouldn’t have happened if they had a Keyless Lock on her front door; like this one from Schlage

Memphis, TN (The Commercial Appeal) –A recent Tuesday morning started early for me. I woke up before the rooster (my alarm clock) crowed. I noticed it was 4:25 a.m. — oh well.

Annette LeCroix

My hair was headed mostly in the wrong direction, so I put some Velcro rollers in as a means to gain some control of the cowlicks. Then it was off to the kitchen for my first cup of coffee. Tank the dog was ready to go outside, so we headed to the back door.

It was then that I noticed the back door was slightly ajar. I had locked it before I went to bed but apparently did not close it all the way, and the gale-force winds that blew all night blew through the security door and opened the wooden door. As I opened the security door, I saw my rosemary plant had been blown off the table, and I walked out with the dog to rescue the plant. In that moment, the wind blew the wooden door shut.

As I was gathering rosemary off the ground, it occurred to me that I had not unlocked the wooden door as I normally would have, since it was not closed. With a sinking heart, I tried the door, and, yes, it was locked.

Here I am at 4:30 a.m. out on the patio in my pajamas and Velcro rollers, holding my cup of coffee. How I wished I had had that extra set of keys made to hide in the backyard.

I sat down and finished what I knew would be the only cup of hot coffee I would have for a while, and then headed out the gate to see if any neighbors were awake yet.

Looking around, I was elated to see a light on in the garage of a lovely retired couple who live a few doors down the street. Knowing they often go out in their garage to smoke, I was sure one of them was in the garage. I peered into the window (good thing I am tall). There was a little TV turned on, but no human. I pecked on the garage door but saw no movement.

Thinking they must have stepped inside to get a cup of coffee, I went to the front door and knocked. (Didn’t want to ring the bell and wake up a sleeping person.) They also have security cameras at the door, so I waved at the camera, hoping they would not be frightened by my appearance but recognize me as that lady down the street with the beautiful flower beds. No one came to the door. So down the street I went.

There were no lights on in any house on my street, so I headed to the main drag and went to the next block. I knew a police officer lived on that street and thought maybe he would be up or the guy at the end of the cove who worked the early shift somewhere, but no lights were on in any house on that street, so I set off back to the main drag.

As I got to the corner, there was a car coming down the street — I waved my arms and used a form of sign language to plead with them to let me use their phone. They sped up.

So I walked back to my street to check and see if there were any lights. Nada. I walked the other direction to the block north of me, and once again, there were no lights on anywhere. So I went back to my street and back to the house with the light on in the garage — still no sign of life. Even went back to their front door and knocked and waved at the camera, and no one came. I knocked on the front doors of the neighbors on both sides of me and across the street — no one.

I got the idea to try to jimmy my garage door open. There is a handle on the outside — I turned it — the handle locked up tight.

I went back to the main drag and attempted to flag down every vehicle that came by. No one stopped. Crazy old lady in her pajamas with curlers in her hair, standing in the street flailing her arms — I don’t think so.

Then I heard the most wonderful sound. It was the newspaper delivery guy. Based on the color of the sky — a lighter shade of black — I knew it was getting closer to 6 a.m.

As he turned onto my street, I began waving my arms and yelled, “Do you have a phone?” He kept going, but only for a few moments — then he stopped. I ran up to the window and explained I had been locked out of my house since 4:30 a.m. and just needed to use a phone to call my mother.

The call to wake my mother up was quick — “Hello, I am locked out of my house — can you come soon? — can’t talk any longer — paper delivery guy must get on with his route.”

The sky was getting lighter, and I knew my mother was on her way. I made my way back to the front of the house and awaited her arrival. As she turned onto my street, she began pushing the remote for the garage door. I could hear the door make a noise, but it did not open.

I explained to her what I did with the garage, at which point she reminded me that I was never, ever to turn the handle. She then handed me a set of keys to my house, but in order to use those keys, the garage door had to be open, and as my back door has a different lock, they didn’t help the situation. You may be thinking to yourself — don’t you have a front door? Well, yes, but the keys my mother has open only the wooden door, since she misplaced her key to my front security door.

By this time (6:30 a.m.), some of my neighbors were up. Thank goodness my next-door neighbor has a garage full of tools and knows how to fix stuff.

He was able to take that garage door handle thing completely off and release whatever it was that had prevented the garage door opener from working. In at last.

I thanked my neighbor and my mother and went inside to get my second cup of coffee for the morning and let the poor dog in — it was then 6:40 a.m.

No, I did not go back to bed, although I seriously contemplated the idea. I just drank coffee and tried to get a handle on my neurotic self and called my boss and let him know that I would be late for work.

There are some positives to this tale of woe. For one, it was not raining. And second, it was not the normal temperature for January, but in the 60s. And yes, I have had keys made, and they reside in a hidden spot, which I will need a flashlight to find. So I guess the next thing is to find a place on the patio to stash a flashlight. If this gave you a chuckle, we’ll consider that another positive.

Annette LeCroix lives in Cordova.

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